Laying the Past to Rest
by ASGeekery
Summary: There was one thing she needed to do and that was to grieve, granted she may have been back in the world of the living for almost two months but the world considered her to be dead for two years. There was only one person who could give her the strength to deal with it all and that was her best friend (hints at GarrusxShepard pairing)


Everyone was gathered in the conferance room as they were looking over dossiers and upcoming missions

''Commander we have found the location of the Normandy'' said EDI

''That didn't take long'' muttered Shepard in a suprised manner

''I've marked it on the map and informed Mr. Monroe to set a course for you''

''Good''

That one simple word provoked uproar from Commander Shepard's crew. Miranda, extremly cold hearted to the entire situation, voiced her opinion quite soundly, simply stating that Shepard was with Cerberus now and had no need to do anything the alliance asked of her. Garrus on the other hand, being that he was currently the only other member on the squad that was a part of the original Normandy team, stated that Shepard was the commanding officer, therefore it did not matter what the others said or thought, she could do what she wanted. Mordin didn't really have a say either way, only offering that he could tweak Shepard's armor so that it could withstand the well below freezing temperatures of the planet, Alchear, where the ship had crashed.

One by one, the other crew members begun to leave the conference room leaving only Shepard and Garrus behind. After the doors closed Shepard sighed and rubbed her forehead.

''I knew they wouldn't understand.'' she mumbled

Garrus shock his head.

''Of course not, they have no idea what it was like... what we were like back on the old Normandy. They could never begin to understand that connection.''

Shepard looked over at her friend

''I'm not just going there to place the monument.. There are still twenty members unaccounted for. Obviously they're dead. Hell even I died. But that's twenty families who are looking for closure, and I intend to give them that.

Garrus nodded

''That's understandable, Shepard. Your crew meant a lot to you. You sacrificed yourself just to save Joker, your pilot. Most of the people in your position wouldn't have done the same thing. I'm just worried about you, can you handle seeing the Normandy again? She's completely destroyed Shepard.''

Shepard looked down at her feet and placed her hands on the table.

''I know she's gone, but this is something I have to do''

Garrus was quiet for a few minutes as he tried to think of something to say. He wondered if seeing the shattered ship brought back memories of the day she went down? After all it took to bring Shepard back, could her mind withstand something that intense? Could the surge of memories throw her into shock? Garrus only knew a little of what Cerberus actually put into Shepard to bring her back, but he did know that cybernetic implanting played a huge part, as evidenced by the scars on her face. He wanted to go with her, but didn't want to insinuate that he thought the commander was weak or in need of help.

Shepard brushed away a stray lock of her black hair behind her ear and looked back up at Garrus. She wanted to ask him if he would accompany her, as she really did not want to go alone but she did not want to appear weak. Shepard sighed, she had seen some of the worst things the galaxy had to offer, rogue VIs, Husks, an Indoctrinated Saren, and a Reaper to boot. She was fearless in the eyes of many, but the thought of seeing her ship, her first proper ship; finding those dog tags of those she couldn't save that day, it scared her to her core.

''Garrus...''

Before Shepard could finish, EDI's voice interrupted her over the comm.

''We've reached Alchera, Shepard. You may descend.''

''Thank you EDI''

Garrus looked at Shepard and caught her gaze. Her eyes were almost as blue as his. He saw a strong confident women before him, but there was something swimming in her eyes that he never thought he would see.

Fear.

Before he could say anything, Shepard was leaving the room, she quickly hurried to the lab where Mordin was putting finishing touches on her armor.

''Ah Shepard. Just finishing here. New upgrades should keep you warm. Not for long though. May wish to do this quickly.''

Shepard smiled

''Thanks Mordin.'' she stated as he handed her the armour

''My pleasure.''

Shepard pulled her armour on and tucked her helmet under her arm, not without swearing at the fact she had to wear a helmet. She then hurried to the shuttle bay and climbed into the Kodiak. After putting her helmet on, Shepard pressed the desired buttons and activated the small 'drop shuttle'. EDI's voice sounded once more.

''Commander, Mordin would like to remind you again to keep an eye on how much time you are exposed to the elements. He estimates that you will have approximately two hours to locate the missing tags and place the monument before your upgrades will need recharging, meaning you will begin to feel the elements. Please use caution Shepard.''

''Thank you EDI and tell Mordin I'll be fine.''

With that Shepard pulled the lever at her side and activated the Kodiak. It slowly rose into the air. The hatch opened, allowing Shepard to drive the hovercraft out of the ship and onto the cold, snowy surface of Alchera. Shepard slowly maneuverer the Kodiak into the air and down towards the planet. Because it was so dark, she really couldn't see out of the windshield. After feeling the Kodiak come into contact with the land, she switched the systems off. She closed her eyes and took a deep breathe, turning on her oxygen in her mask as she opened the door.

Shepard exited the Kodiak and felt her stomach plummet. All around her were dark shapes that stuck out of the snowy ground. she knew well enough that those weren't small hills, those dark shapes were the Normandy. Shepard swolled and walked forward. The snow crunched beneath the weight of her boots. She made it into a clearing where the old MAKO had crashed. It was almost completely buried in snow. Turning around Shepard made out the old CIC room. She drew her brows together and ran a hand under the scorched railing. A rush of memories came to mind. She saw herself, standing on the platform in front of the galaxy map, issuing orders to Joker where to land for some long forgotten mission. She pictured Pressly, standing off to one side, grumbling about how he didn't agree with all the non-humans on board. Shepard blinked and noticed something towards the back of the wreckage. She maneuverered through the twisted shards of metal that were sticking out; careful to make sure her armour wasn't pierced. Eventually, Shepard made it to the back and picked up a data pad. Miraculously, it was still intact. Shepard gasped.

''This was Pressley's''

She quickly turned the datapad on and wasn't surprised to see that a majority of the logs had been erased, or severely damaged, but there were three that were still readable. The first was from the very beginning of her career. Pressley expressed his concerns about having Nihlus, the Turian Spectre on the ship, and that worry increased in his second log, as he stated that Shepard was not thinking clearly allowing Garrus and Wrex aboard the ship. Lastly, however, it looked as if Pressley had a change of heart. Shepard smiled as she read over his last words.

'I never thought I would say this, but I was wrong. After getting to know the Quarian, Tali. I'm starting to think aliens aren't that different from us after all. Garrus was a great addition to the team, and I'll even admit Wrex is too, thought I still don't like to make eye contact with him.'

Shepard smiled and turned the datapad off. Her omni-tool then flashed, alerting her that she'd used up ten minutes of her time. Shepard cursed beneath her breathe. She needed to start looking for the missing dog tags, but every time she passed a piece of the ship, she had to stop for a moment. Passing the destroyed mess hall, Shepard remembered when she, Kaidan and Ash tried to teach Garrus how to play poker, the one night she and Kaidan got into a mini food fight and he almost kissed her.

Shepard shock her head and frowned. No need to bring back those memories. After all, Kaidan was dead after all. Shepard sighed and attempted once more to put her memories behind her, but as she continued to walk on Alchera and through the wreckage of the old Normandy, that task became more and more difficult.

''Shepard, it's me. Where are you? Mordin sent me to help' called Garrus through the comms.

It took a moment but Shepard finally responded.

''I'm near the old crew quarters.'' she said quietly

Garrus pressed a few buttons on his omni-tool and was able to locate Shepard's positon. He hurried over there and found her sitting on her knees. Garrus furrowed his brows and he approached her. Upon reaching her, he noticed that she had indeed located all the dog tags, they were all laid out in front of her.

Shepard turned to Garrus and swallowed

''Well... I found them.'' she said in a shaky voice

Garrus looked at Shepard. Although he couldn't see her face because of her helmet, he could tell by her voice that she was crying, or had been at some point. Shepard turned around and sighed.

''I couldn't save them...not any of them. That is all that's left, their families don't even have bodies they can bury.'' she stated coldly

Garrus took another step towards her.

''It's not your fault, Shepard. You did everything you could possibly do to save those that did make it. These families aren't going to hate you, Shepard. They're going to thank you for finally bringing them the answers they need, for finally bringing their son or daughter home. Even if it's not their body, these dog tags were once theirs and I'm sure that will be enough for them.''

Shepard's omni-tool flashed again, stating that she only had fifteen minutes before her upgrades failed. She looked up at Garrus and smiled.

''I suppose you're right. Thanks, Garrus.''

Garrus offered his talon to help her stand.

''For what?'' he asked

Shepard placed her hand in his gloved talon and stood. She looked up at him and smiled a true, genuine smile.

''For always being there for me. I appreciate it.''

Garrus blinked, a little taken aback by her compliment

''Ah...you're welcome.'' he replied

Shepard gathered the dog tags and Pressley's datapad. She also retrieved her old helmet and tucked the battered thing beneath her arm then placed everything inside it to stop them from getting lost.

''Will you help me place the monument? It seems fitting that you and I do it together, since we're all that's left of the old crew.''

Garrus nodded

''I'd be honoured, Shepard.''

They walked together back towards the Kodiak where the monument was placed. With Garrus' help, Shepard was able to lift the monument with ease. They quickly carried it to the old CIC and placed it in front of the debris. Shepard and Garrus both stepped back to admire the monument. It was golden in colour and in the shape of the Alliance symbol. Engraved on its pedestal was the Normandy and all the souls that were lost aboard the vessel. Shepard closed her eyes as she read over Kaidan's name.

''Garrus?'' she asked softly

He turned and looked at her.

''Did I make the right choice on Virmire?''

''There wasn't a choice, he set the bomb without your authorization, he did what he felt was right, he saved all of us.''

''I always blamed myself thinking I had a choice but I guess you're right I never did.''

''It'll all work out Shepard, at least you have closure, which is more than most.''

''That's one way to look at it I guess.''

''Come on we should head back. You're upgrades are almost out of juice''

Upon entering the SR-2, Shepard removed her helmet and waited for Garrus to park. He did and climbed out of the spare Kodiak. They stood together just quietly for a moment until Garrus felt Shepard's lips against the side of his cheek. Garrus blinked as Shepard pulled away from him causing them both to smile

''Thanks again for checking up on me, Garrus. You're a good friend.''

After a moment, Garrus cleared his throat and nodded

''You're... welcome, Shepard.''

Shepard winked at him before walking towards the elevator. Before the doors closed, she saw Garrus touch the side of his face and smiled the largest smile she'd ever seen. Upon entering her quarters, Alya removed her armour and sat at her desk. She typed a response to Admiral Hackett, letting him know that she had indeed recovered all the missing dog tags and that she would deliver them personally once she was back to the Citadel. Alya closed her messages and thought about Garrus.

''Oh crap, I'm in love with my best friend.''


End file.
